lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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