you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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