I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
