i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
