Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think my moral compass just broke
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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