Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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