I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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