omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
