Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
