I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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