So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
