Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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