i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
