Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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