I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
