do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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