nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
