Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
