nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
