super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He has the fingertips of a God
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