the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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