I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
