I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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