She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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