So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
