yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
