Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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