the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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