I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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