what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
