If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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