evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
