I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
