One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize