I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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