apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
