im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
