Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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