Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
