I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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