I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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