She is in my trunk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
