I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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