i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
