Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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