so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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