I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
