Where did you get a picture of my penis
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
