what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
