i just had sex bonerless
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
