I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
